A Letter to Fathers
“Cats in the cradle and the silver spoon, Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon. 'When you comin' home dad?' 'I don't know when, but we'll get together then. You know we'll have a good time then.'"
Some dads are never coming home. Mine didn't. And yet others are home, but they're gone. And as a young boy, the son of a single mom, I was a hungry boy -- hungry every day and I didn't know it. My hunger came not from my stomach, but from my heart. My stomach wasn't hungry for food. My heart was hungry for a father. And now that I'm the father of five, how do I feed my children's hearts, so that they're not starving for Daddy?
As a father and a pastor, I can think of at least two things that you and I can do to feed the hearts of our children.
"But sometimes my heart feels so indifferent, and after such a busy day, sometimes I'd rather sit down with a beer and the TV than with my kids. And this kills my conscience!
Delight yourself in God, and He will Purify your Desires!
Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the LORD;
And He will give you the desires of your heart."
The struggle of a wayward heart! Welcome to the club! But through your faith in Christ, God will purify your heart and help you to want to do what you ought to do. And when your "ought to's" are your "want to's", that is true freedom and joy! So if you're struggling with a wayward heart, confess that sinful heart to God through Christ. Ask Him to purify your heart, and He will. And He will help you to want the right things!
"But I'm so busy, overwhelmed really, just trying to put food on the table and stay sane!"
Read to your children! Talk to your children! What else is there?
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 "And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up."
We're all busy -- with "planes to catch and bills to pay"! But if we don't read God's word, our hearts will wander away, influenced by the desires of the flesh and not the Spirit (Gal. 5:19-21). And if the majority of our family time is filled with TV, then our kids will learn about life from TV sit-coms, which overflow with empty convictions and heart-shrinking humor. This diet starves and shrivels the heart. So read to them and talk with them! Feed their hearts, Daddy! They will love you for this!
Suggestions:
1. Turn the TV off! Most of it will vaporize the heart of family devotions!
2. Read! Read them a gospel, maybe a chapter a day, not as a seminary professor, but as a daddy whose own heart starves for God! And read them missionary biographies, books about real people who went hard after God! My favorite series is Christian Heroes: Then & Now, by Janet & Geoff Benge (YWAM Publications). As I write, some of these books are on Amazon.com for $3.70, used and in good shape. Start with George Mueller, Gladys Aylward, or Amy Carmichael. Then the fire of family devotions will burn bright!
3. Make it fun! Hot chocolate with whipped cream, for everyone!
4. Pray! Let them see and hear and feel your heart, both its heat and its shiver -- a real heart -- for that is what they have. Show them what it means to be human.
My girls are growing. Soon the clock will strike midnight, and they'll be gone.
My boys are growing. Soon they'll walk away. I hope their smile never does.
That "good time then" can be now, Daddy. Your kids are waiting. And maybe they're hungry. And just maybe . . . they're starving.